Return to Innocence

 “Return to innocence”

It is not simply the title of a song by the band Enigma. It is a desperate plea I am making. 

As an early childhood educator, I am seeing the innocence of children gone. Imagination and dramatic play is almost non-existent. The once comforting visuals of my childhood are replaced by over stimulation and the overuse of technology. A simple trip to the grocery store and I have witnessed the disappointment of parents and caregivers not having conversations with their children or acknowledging their existence, the children have their eyes fixed on devices, whether that be the caregivers smartphone or a tablet. There is no respect for authoritative figures. Bad language, hurtful words, and even violence is something that children as young as 3 years old are exhibiting. 

I know I can speak from my childhood and tell you that the difference between what I experienced in the 90’s and early 2000’s and today is startling, shocking and very sad. The television was reserved for Saturday morning cartoons and after school shows. They were very comforting and soothing, with morals and values taught, as well as lots of educational content. Going to my Aunt’s house in Hickory Hills was the highlight of my childhood. My cousin had a Sega Genesis console, and it was such a treat to be able to play Sonic the Hedgehog with him. My Aunt also had an extensive collection of Disney movies, from Pete’s Dragon to The Jungle Book, from Fantasia to The Parent Trap. These were seen as a reward and a once in a while thing, and were not expected to constantly be on.  Technology was not seen as something we absolutely had to watch to be occupied. 

Imagination and pretend play was something I thrived on with my siblings. It is something I believe sparked and encouraged my writing and love for storytelling. I was able to create worlds, characters and places that allowed me to fully immerse myself into whatever and wherever my imagination took me. The movies and books I read also helped. The ones I can remember fully having an impact on me were the  “Chronicles of Narnia” and the “Lord of the Rings” series. These timeless classics are something that I believe have the power to inspire generations to come. 

In the present day, it is very rare that I will have a conversation with a child who has heard of these series, much less read a book filled with morals, values and lessons to be learned that will help them in everyday life. Today I’ve noticed that children's books, movies and television series are more so focused on bright colors, voices that sound more like gentle parenting than a calming presence, and the same thing over and over to simply keep their attention. There are more cases of children with learning disabilities and behavioral problems now more than ever.  They have no manners or respect for authority and they have no contempt for their elders. The pandemic made matters worse. By isolating these children and forcing them to be apart from family members and peers, they turned to social media, which ultimately became their downfall. Social media has had a very negative affect on behavior in children. They are constantly told that their parental figures are the enemy and they have every right to cut them out of their life for good, using buzzwords like “toxic” “narcissistic” “abuse” and “gaslighting behavior.” These terms have been twisted and overused in such a way that they are not used in a serious manner.  Parents have no choice but to bend to the will of their young children. They are made to be their friend and to walk on eggshells in case the children accuse them of being “bad parents”. The parents are constantly having to resort to gentle parenting and to remain positive and give their child options, even (as I have witnessed more than once)  as their child becomes physically violent and accuses them of abuse.  Gentle parenting is defined as a “parenting style that focuses on empathy, respect, and connection with children.” In theory, this isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, it is something that should be a no-brainer when it comes to raising children. I feel as if parents of this generation have taken gentle parenting to the extreme and instead have allowed their children to rule their lives and they themselves have taken a major step back when it comes to discipline. 

 How have we come so far in our society? How did we let this happen to our children? I love teaching kids and helping them reach their full potential, but every day I am losing my motivation. I am no longer finding the joy in teaching. I have become their babysitter, not their teacher. I am corrected if I use any sort of discipline or even a firm tone in my voice.  I firmly believe that children should have the utmost respect for authority. In early childhood, that is a crucial learning time for them. It helps build the foundation and learning styles for their future career as students. 

I am burnt out from working in early childhood and by constantly feeling like I have to bend to the rules of giving students options instead of instructions, by allowing the students to use the classroom materials for their own devices instead of utilizing the skills necessary to help them learn. 

It is time for the people of the teaching administration to see that gentle parenting is not an option in the classroom and that teachers need to be respected. Parents need to be parents and to properly discipline their children and teach them respect, instead of paying other people to do the job and expect different results when they themselves don’t implement the hard work the teachers do on a daily basis.